Growing resilient Jewish children.

It’s a changing world.

I grew up in Australia hearing that antisemitism existed, but it wasn’t something I experienced directly. Yes, my father stood out with his long beard and hat, but he treated others with respect and people generally treated him with respect in return. My childhood felt safe.

Children today are growing up in a very different reality.

In places like New York, you see anti-Jewish or anti-Israel slogans on walls. Magen Davids are crossed out. Social media filled with hostility. I’ve seen caricatures of Jews with exaggerated “long noses,” references to Jews as “coin clippers,” and endless comments about the “chosen nation,” often twisting Jewish language about goyim in ways meant to demean.

It doesn’t matter that this isn’t how I, growing up as an ultra religious Jewish woman, was raised.

I was never taught to think negatively about others. In fact, so many of the values central to Judaism emphasize the opposite: creating a better world, being a positive light for ourselves and for others.

There is a well-known teaching: Derech Eretz Kadmah L’Torah - proper conduct comes before Torah. Kindness, humility, respect, and caring for others are meant to come first. Jewish schools teach children to behave with dignity and kindness toward everyone.

But still, we have to ask: where does that leave us? And where does that leave our children, who are growing up in this new world?

For adults, it can be frightening. We read the news, see the comments, and feel the shift in the atmosphere. We try to shield our children from as much of that fear as possible.

At the same time, it is our responsibility to raise them with a strong sense of who they are.

There are a few messages I believe are essential.

First, the knowledge that Hashem loves them and watches over them. Whatever happens in the world, they are not alone.

Second, the understanding that they can be strong in their identity as Jews. Jewish identity has survived centuries of difficulty not by disappearing, but by deepening.

Third, that they can be kind and compassionate to themselves and be safe in their own individual personalities and innermost being, despite all the change in the world. They can be resilient and strong inside, for themselves first, and by extension, for others.

Practically this means that we teach children to notice moment to moment experience and be kind to their own reality. That doesn’t mean dwelling on it, but it’s knowing that sometimes the world can be scary but they will be ok and we have the capacity to take care of ourselves no matter what happens. Knowing this, they will learn to have the ability to take care of themselves and others.

Lately I’ve been thinking about a mindfulness practice that I use most days, and I believe it can be helpful for children as well.

It’s very simple: noticing the breath.

Breathing in and out. Noticing the breath’s shape, its warmth or coolness, the way the stomach expands and softens. And inevitably, the mind wanders. Thoughts come in: worries, plans, distractions.

When you notice that happening, you gently return to the breath.

In and out.

The goal of the exercise is not to perfectly focus on the breath. Actually, the goal is the returning. Getting distracted, and then remembering to come back. Keep coming back to who you are.

In many ways, life right now feels similar. There are many things in the world that can pull our attention and frighten us: endless scrolling, rising antisemitism, arguments online, voices that try to define us.

It is easy to get lost in that noise.

But when we become aware that we’ve drifted, we can return: just like the breath.

Return to who we are.

Return to our resilience.
Return to our compassion.
Return to our inner strength.

And we can teach our children to do the same.

No matter what the world looks like around them, they can keep coming back to their values, their identity, and their connection to Hashem.

Just like the breath: steady, returning, always there.

And with that grounding, we trust that Hashem continues to take care of all of us.